What’s best for my family? What’s best for my district?

Fred Hess in Letters to a Young Education Reformer includes a chapter about how parenting has changed his perspective of school reform. “As a parent, I found myself less interested than ever in whether someone’s analysis purported to show that a given reform might boost the nation’s gross domestic product a half century hence. I was far more included to ask whether a given proposal seemed likely to improve my kids’ schools. I suspect that I’m hardly unique in making that calculation” (p. 122). The tension between what is needed for the broader system and what is needed for individual children can be in conflict with each other. Tradeoffs like this can be difficult.

When we moved to a new neighborhood and enrolled our two young children in the local public school, both of them tested into the magnet gifted program, conveniently held at our school campus. As a parent, I was delighted. What parent wouldn’t want to hear that their darling child tested well and was selected for special treatment? We attended the open house and learned that a key difference in this program was that these kids would have more project-based learning. Given what I knew about learning, in the back of my mind, I wondered why all children weren’t being provided project-based learning. Wouldn’t all children benefit from that, not just the gifted ones? But I silenced the thought and signed my children up.

They did well in the program. Their teachers were more experienced. Their resources and classmates were of a higher caliber. I admit to having the nagging worry in the back of my mind that what they were receiving was perhaps taking away from other children in the school and district. I was aware there are always tradeoffs for these kinds of resource allocations. Did I pull my children out? Nope. As a parent, I wanted my kids to have access to the best education that could be provided.

After a year or two, a review of the magnet program came up. My husband was asked to be the parent representative at a number of board meetings. It became clear that this lovely magnet program was disproportionately benefiting children on our side of the city and was less available, given the lack of busing options, to children on the other side of the city. My husband and I knew this was not a good state to be in. Both of us work in education specifically for vulnerable populations for heaven’s sake! But when it came to our own flesh and blood, it was terribly difficult to recommend that the district modify the program to be more accessible and equitable to all children. My husband and others did recommend these changes for the district and the program was “modified,” but practically eliminated. Happily, my children are thriving, even without the program, because they have all the advantages that we can give them. But it hurt to let go of the magnet program. I am disappointed that for my younger two children, this gifted program is not even an option anymore.

Perhaps the next time somebody argues in favor of a policy we fervently oppose, we can be a little more gentle and remember that they might be a parent too.